So why should I be sad? Confessions of a coffee addict
68What is
If I am sad, it is not for what might have been, but for what is.
What might have been is of no interest any more. What is to come is, as they say, yet a mystery.
What is, is the source of all sadness for me. What is remains so darkly unknown, so utterly beyond my grasp.
I hear the notes of the music and they pale, fade into nothingness as quickly as they come.
I see the colours of the leaves and the sky and they too are drained and lifeless.
Only the beating of my heart is real, only the in-and-out of breath can take me forward.
The philosopher's stone is unturned, the lover's bedclothes unopened.
Only the heart keeps up this constant rhythm and I feel the blood in my wrists flowing like the tides of time.
Zakir Hussein: Making Music - astonishingly beautiful!
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The fly
The fly sits on the crust of bread, caught in the rays of sunlight flooding in through the open window.
I feel a crumb under my foot.
There is a buzzing in the garden behind me – bees?
There is a buzzing in my ears – blood pressure?
To know one is alive one must feel the blood seeping through the arteries and veins like a warm flood.
At the base of life there is just one cell and that cell contains the world.
Every thought comes from the leaves and the sky.
And is there love? Is there hope?
No doubt there are voices but their meanings escape me – I cannot catch them, nor do they feed me.
Like a lizard in the sun my body warms from outside instead of from inside.
Hope is a fraud, a word spoken out of desperation to the desperate.
We can know the future – it is exactly like the present.
The eternal rhythm of coming and going, breathing in and out, carrying the weight of the body in the spirit out of which it is born.
And death comes at last like the lizard, quietly, surreptitiously into life in the sun on the garden wall and all begins again.
Beginnings and endings are all illusions.
Only this moment is real with the fly on the crust and the sun through the window, warming my back as the coffee steams next to me with its rich aroma of false enjoyment.
And in the end this moment too is dissolved in the flux, in the passing. It is all illusion.
So what to make of the illusion? Just sit with the sun on my back and smell the coffee, watching the fly on the crust.
It too will die. The coffee cup will be emptied.
So why should I be sad?
Copyright Notice
The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are by Tony McGregor who hereby asserts his copyright on the material. Should you wish to use any of the text or images feel free to do so with proper attribution and, if possible, a link back to this page. Thank you.
© Tony McGregor 2011
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You suffer from a condition that has been recently aptly covered here:
http://hubpages.com/hub/Psychopathy-the-mask-of-sa
Enjoy :-))
You're feeling sad???
Only this moment is real Tony and I will choose this moment to visit Tony, to read Tony's beautiful words, to hear some pretty music. It is this moment that is frozen right here for me. I choose to spend precious moments with a wonderful friend and it's beautiful! My espresso is great company! I love you brother Tony!
Can't start the day without a large cappuccino these days. The end of our world can wait.
I only get sad when there is no coffee left to make, I need my fix every morning just like an addict, give me a pot of coffee. great write.
God Bless tony
Please don't be sad
your poem it had
words without illusion
when they talked about how
we live in the 'now'
and that is my conclusion-
Good writing Tony,m
Hi Tony, Your last line reads why should I be sad?
I don't know. You shouldn't! You are a fantastic writer! And you always brighten my day so much when I see that you have commented on my very shallow Hubs. Let us raise our mugs high and cheers to ya!
Lj
A beautiful reflection always comes with a little reality and mystery solving as you've so impressivly showed us here,Tony.;)
Wow, Tony. I really like this. It's so different from what you usually do...very creative.
Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion. Sorry about that Tony everything in life is always a song lyric to me. I love this, but I ain't believing you're sad. I'm trying to remember where I heard Zakir Hussain, I think he did the planet drum album with Mickey Hart. Peace Tony!! Tom
Tony – First of all - the music is beautiful!
You reminded me in this hub of King Solomon who said: “.... The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun...” and actually of all he said in the entire Ecclesiastes.
A second thought crossed my mind - If you haven’t yet studied ‘The Power of Now’ from Eckard Tolle, I have to recommend it. You will appreciate his theories.
And again – the music is beautiful... mesmerizing – to keep us completely captured in NOW. And so often NOW is nostalgic – longing... but for something that does not exist. But why feel sad about it? Just know it does not exist... what we feel and see and hear is really all we have.
Peace and hugs galore for you and yours.
Yankeeintexas - thanks for the understanding! Just had my second right now and feeling much better, thank you!
Love and peace
Tony
Dimitris - do you really think I'm psychopathic? Well maybe that would answer a lot of questions. I'll go over to that Hub you recommend and see what I can learn about myself there!
Thanks for dropping by, friend, and helping me put a smile on the dial!
Love and peace
Tony
Sophia - I was until you came by! Thanks!
Love and peace
Tony
Very nice hub. A loving hug is a good way to push aside sadness. God Bless You.
Hi Tony,
A very clever hub Tony even if a little sad. However sadness must be shared the same as joy and laughter. When we have shared it a little of that burden is lifted.
Whenever I see that you have published another hub Tony I immediatly think "Oh good,another great read!" and you have not failed to deliever once yet!
This is what makes HP the brilliant community that it is: We read, we write, we learn, we support and this is the way that it will always be because there are so many understanding, compassionate and sincere people who have come together.
Thank you so much for sharing your sincereity and talent on here Tony.
A awesome , beautiful, useful and up for this one.
Take care my friend,
Eiddwen.
Sadness is a lack of a brain chemical that is produced by drinking coffee in the morning. If it takes two cups, then by all means, drink two cups! Feel better now? Yep, me too.
It's sad, and beautifully written. Without such sad feelings, there won't be such a beautiful piece of work. Take care and God bless.
Micky Dee - you are incomparable, my brotherman, and I love you too! Thanks so much and I'm glad you liked the music. It is one of my favourite CDs and I play it almost every day, especially when I'm writing.
Love and peace
Tony
Tony , you have me weeping. That was so wonderful. It hit a note in me somewhere., that made me cry. l don´t know why.
Thank you for a fabulous hub God bless
This is a beautiful piece of work, accompanied to beautiful music.
Thank you, Tony
I confess that my addiction to tea means that if I didn't get a bucketful every morning, I would be sad. It’s the only vice I have left. Here’s something to cheer you up.
http://hubpages.com/hub/Lets-go-and-find-some-zebr
Meanwhile, keep that fly off the toast or it’ll give you the scoots.
Tony, Do you think t too muh cofee making you sad
yes of course everything is an illusion - it is all ephemeral and shall in the millisecond dissolve into something that never was before and shall never be again.and yet dear friend you are an illusion too and you relate to every other illusion in an illusory world only in your capacity of an illusion.and the illusory moment between two illusions is ABSOLUTELY real, and which is why one must rejoice in the truth of the present.
btw i heard and saw Zakir Hussein perform live just day before yesterday for 2 full hours- the moment passed and yet as long as I am it shall remain with me.
What powerful poetry! Yes, it’s full of sadness (which I hope you’ve overcome by now!) but it is still wonderful. Thank you for introducing me to Zakir Hussain. I’ve never heard him play before.
Don't feel sad Tony. Have another cup of jo. A day without coffee is like a day without the sun, Loved this. It is so much not like anything you've ever done. Thank you.
Love and Peace
Keith - the end of the world is on hold until I've downed my joe!
Thanks for stopping by and identifying!
Love and peace
Tony
Vet - thanks so much for that comment of support for me in my addiction! And, of course, for the kind words.
Love and peace
Tony
Maxine - well, I'm less sad now, having read your wonderful, poetic comment!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
John - I raise my mug to you, friend! Thanks for stopping by and leaving such kind words.
Love and peace
Tony
Bryan - thanks so much for the interesting comment, and the very kind words!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
Alek - thank you so much! I always appreciate your comments and this one in particular!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
Tom - no need to be sorry! You have added another dimension for which I'm grateful!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a cool comment - appreciated indeed!
Love and peace
Tony
Martie - baie dankie! Ecclesiastes is a wonderful book, it's true. Much wisdom there.
I have the book "The Power of Now" but I confess I haven't yet read it - it'sd one of those books that I struggle to get into, even after a few attempts. But you inspire me to give it another go!
Love and peace
Tony
Stars - thanks for the advice! Are you offering? LOL!
Thanks so much for stopping by and I'm a great believer in hugs too - they definitely help.
Love and peace
Tony
Eiddwen - thank you so much, dear lady! How could I possibly be sad when I get a comment like yours?
Thanks again and all the best.
Love and peace
Tony
Lela - yes, I know, dear friend! And yes, thanks, had my fix and feel a whole heap better!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
Ingenira - thank you so much. I like the yin/yang idea very much, thanks for that.
Love and peace
Tony
Oh Dim! Now you could get me started! Thanks you so much for that truly wonderful comment - I am amazed!
Thanks for stopping by, dear friend.
Love and peace
Tony
Hmm...interesting...are you really saying that your sadness has to do with emptied coffee cup? I have just coincidentally asked a question about death recently, there are only few answers in...sorry, I am normally not good at cheering up people, because I often need others to cheer me up :(, though emptied coffee cup or a soon-will-die fly has never connected me with sadness :)
Hummingbird - thanks for stopping by and leaving such a super comment and very kind words. I do appreciate your visit.
Love and peace
Tony
Amillar - hahaha! You certainly made me smile and forget the sadness!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
gr82bme - is there such a thing as too much coffee? LOL! I do honour your opinion!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
What a beautiful hub, Tony. I am sad because I can no longer have my coffee. My caffine addiction has gotten the best of me. (It must have been all the coffee I was drinking while writing.) Thank goodness they make decafe.
I have enjoyed reading your words of sorrow. I hope that today has brought a better day. Maybe a new bug is awaiting to be discovered in the garden. I wish you much cheer and am looking forward to reading more. :)
Neelesh - I am extremely envious but have to recognise that the envy too is an illusion! You are very fortunate to have heard Zakir Hussein in perosn - I have only heard him on CD, alas! In fact, I have just put on the illlusion of the CD again right now! Loving it.
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such an intersting and illuminating comment.
Love and peace
Tony
Alicia - thank you for your very kind words which I deeply appreciate. The CD is well worth having, it's truly beautiful and I find it a wonderful stimulant to creativity. I love listening to it as I write (i'm doing so now).
Love and peace
Tony
Ruby - you are kindness itself! And I'm just about to do that. Already had one this morning, but another can't do any harm, can it?
Thanks for stopping by. And have one yourself, dear lady!
Love and peace
Tony
Dali - thanks for stopping by with such an interesting story and very kind words. Your story sounds like the beginning of an intersting Hub!
Thanks again for the visit.
Love and peace
Tony
Snakebaby - thanks for stopping by and leaving an interesting question. No, I don't think the sadness is directly linked to the empty coffee cup, maybe to another kind of emptiness? Perhaps something about the philosopher's stone being unturned, the lover's bedclothes unopened!
Thanks again for the visit.
Love and peace
Tony
Tlpoague - thanks for the kind words. How sad not to be able to have a cup of joe! I would be very sad indeed!
My day hs been fine since then, thanks.
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
I'm dragging behind all the other valid comments. Unless I have at least two cups of my favorite Kick Ass Organic Java I am useless to the world let alone myself.
Get over it Tony, keep drinking and put all other problems in the world on pause, believe me they will still be there when you down your second cupper:0)) Lovely write, I loved the poetry.
Such a poetic bent with this hub, Tony, and well done! I can just picture the rays of sunlight and that fly on the crust of bread. As to momentary sadness...such is the makeup of life...hopefully peppered with more happiness and contentment than the sadness. Going to get another cup of coffee right now!
I've been drinking a lot of coffee and writing sad poems that always end with a glimmer of optimistic. Maybe there is a link. Not fond of feeling sad but I surely cannot give up on coffee!!!
Autumn has this effect on me. Everything surrendering once again to winter. However, there is great beauty in the fall colors. Such is the dichotomy and inevitability that everything cycles between birth and death. Enjoyment of each moment is key, whether with a cup of coffee, a beloved one, preferably both. Beautiful, thought provoking piece, Tony. Thank you.
Ken - thanks so much for stopping by. I'm over it - was just a temporary down that morning! Keeping on drinking and writing - sure to make things right again!
Thanks again for the visit and comment.
Love and peace
Tony
Peggy - thanks for stopping by. Going for another cuppamyself as soon as I've finished responding to a few more comments!
Thanks again.
Love and peace
Tony
JBeadle - I know the feeling! Don't think there's necessarily a link between the coffee and the sadness - perhaps the optimistic at the end!
Thanks for stopping by and emnpathising.
Love and peace
Tony
Amy - thanks for a "beautiful, thought provoking" comment! I really appreciate it.
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
Tony - The beautiful words you wrote reflect today's mood for me as well. That second cup of java didn't do it but gazing out the back window I spotted two beautiful Blue Birds who continue on with their daily tasks. Perhaps the sun will come out and rescue the remainder of the day.
"And in the end this moment too is dissolved in the flux, in the passing. It is all illusion."
Peg - thanks for stopping by and I hope the thrid cup of Java has helped!
I wish I could see bluebirds outside my window! Last night we had an owl visit - I love owls and the wonderful sound they make.
Thanks for again stopping by and for the great comment.
Love and peace
Tony
I like this Tony - very moving. From reading this, I don't quite get that you mind being sad, but are just wondering about it. Good writing.
AnnieRose - thanks for the perceptive comment. I think you are right about that!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
You had me at the word coffee. I can drink a pot and then go to bed. Excellent hub!
voted up/awesome
Fay - thanks for stopping by. We coffee addicts really have a lot to be glad about! Just about time to get my next fix!
Love and peace
Tony
I enjoyed your reflexion, of the moment and life. Myself I become sad not when the cup is empty but when the pot runs out.
Nifty - glad you enjoyed this one and yes, when the pot runs out is the time to get really depressed!
Thanks for stopping by.
Love and peace
Tony
Beautiful Hub Tony, it was wonderful the way that you were able to put down those fleeting emotions, I hope, in writing. I am glad some of us can, I cannot but you did it for everyone. You are an awesome writer.
I find myself in similar moments, perhaps too often lately. The impending death of my mother's ability to remember sets me off, for she has always been my rock. What is the point, I consider. The warm breezes begin and I wonder whether life was meant to be more. Do I indeed live for coffee? Sad commentary, that. I feel alive when I do my kundalini; only then do I feel optimistic. Hugs, dear friend.
Steph - thanks, yes, those feelings were fleeting and I was just trying to look at them, to understand them in the writing. Thanks for stopping by with such kind words.
Love and peace
Tony
Barbara - sorry to hear about your mum, I kinow that is a very difficult thing to live with. My dad, a brilliant mind, began to lose it towards the end of his life and it was very, very sad to experience.
And yes, I think we all share the feeling that there should be "more" to life, though we don't quite know what that "more" might be.
Hugs to you too, dear friend.
Love and peace
Tony
Too bad I cant be addicted to coffee if not I wont be able to sleep at night!
Thanks Tony.
Cheaptoys - thaks for stopping by. Appreciate your comment.
Love and peace
Tony
Hi there tonymac, wow that hungry fly surely stirred up a lot of conversation. Yes many a morning I stroll my gardens early with a steaming cup of glory. Why is it during so quiet morning hours that there is so much peace in the stillness of the moment. I loved your thoughts and expression. Peace brother.
Golfgal - thanks for stopping by and understanding!
Peace to you, my sister!
Love and peace
Tony
Just saying hello - hope you're well.
Amillar - yes thanks. I appreciate your concern. Just struggling with the mysterious drop in my author score!
Love and peace
Tony
Suppose someone had plagiarised some of your work - is it not possible that these algorithm thingies would penalise for duplicated content, regardless of the merit of the case?
Amillar - hadn't thought of that. I do know of one of my Hubs which has been put up on another site - oddly my autobiographical Hub which has been used as the autobiography of someone I don't know from a bar of soap! Don't know if that could be affecting my score. Will try to find that one again.
Thanks for stopping by again.
Love and peace
Tony
yankeeintexas 15 months ago
I understand your sadness! I need two cups to get me going:) Wondeful hub, and I hope to read more!